Saturday, December 31, 2011

End of another year

I just read a crafting blog post. The lady summed up what she had done this year. So I got to thinking what I had done.

Not much. Really.

I read 52 romance novels this year. (And if I can read ten pages before midnight that will be 53!! Yay, I can count!)
Made a few pair of earrings for my mother.
Sewed one Gonk named Robert.
Sewed one plush owl for my aunt. She loved it.
Sewed one plush gingerbread boy for my aunt's grandson. He loved it.
Sewed one plush bear for my aunt's other grandson because I didn't want him to feel left out. Don't know if he liked it.
Sent off two bone polymer clay bracelets to my cousin. She thanked me.
Watched my father slowly succumb to lung cancer. Although I don't know if 'slowly' is the right word. From the beginning of April to the end of June. Is that slow or fast?
Attempted to sell on Etsy again. I'm a failure.
Prayed very hard that we sell this house so we can move someplace where job prospects for me are better. (Miami, it turns out, is the worst place in the country for available jobs. But I've KNOWN that for a long time now.)

And that's about it. My year in a nutshell.
I hate my life.
If I had a choice of reliving 2011 over again or dying... I'd rather die. Well... January through March wasn't too bad. It was just that stretch from April to December that's been pure hell for me.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

It's Christmastime...

... and my house is NOT festive at all. AT ALL!!!

Mom still has her Fall/Thanksgiving decorations out. Decorations that consist of plastic pumpkins in varying sizes, black cats that cackle, and a scarecrow that's not scary at all.

It needs to go. Pronto!

So yesterday I said we should get the tree out.

But see... things are never as easy as... "Hey, let's get the tree out." "Sure, sounds good." And out comes the tree and it sets itself up, somehow magically. Yeah, this ain't Harry Potter. This is real life. This is MY LIFE and it's HELL!!!

After some fuss, we got the tree out. Out of the room it was stored in. Out of the box. And that's as far as it got. No base.




We can't just use the funny three-legged base we have. No. OH NO!! THAT would be too difficult.

The tree came with a weighted plastic base. Which we cannot find!! We looked in all the Christmas boxes in the storage room. Not there. Plenty of other crap. No base.

By the time we had looked through everything, we were starving and fit to be tied. I just wanted a nap! But I had to cook. So I cooked. Dinner turned out well. Mom actually ate the meat!

Sunday, November 20, 2011


I think perhaps... maybe just maybe I watch too  much television.

The other night I had a weird dream. I went to lunch with friends (no clue who these people were supposed to be, actually). Lunch was in a far off place. We drove and drove (carpooled, don't ya know). Down a deserted road, nothing there, then a restaurant. So we ate. Then we got back into the car. By the time we hit the road again just about everyone had to go potty badly. BADLY!! There were cramps and moans. One person threatened to jump out of the car. I think Leela from Futurama was one of the characters in the dream, and Jack from Lost.

DON'T JUDGE ME!!! It was a dream!

So we find this 'city'... complex... whatever. Oddly it was the same route we had taken to get to lunch and we had not passed this place... funny how places just pop up in dreams. So we parked on top of a parking garage. Did I mention the whole city place was white? No color. Not one speck of paint anywhere.

So we're all split up looking for a way off the parking garage and a g-damned restroom. Why we couldn't have walked down the ramp we drove up, I do not know. And then a bomb happened. Up in the sky, plain as day. One of those old timey missiles with the propeller thing on the back. So it hits the parking garage which turns out not to be a parking garage at all. So now we can climb down the hole... into this room full of junk. And there was a cage with a thing in it.

Thing is the only word I can use... it looked like a monkey mouse. Jabba the Hutt's companion. That creepy little guy. Him. But he was a zombie!! What? Yeah, a zombie. So, my dream turned into a zombie movie/show!

We got out of the room and were questioned. But we were just relieved to see people. Apparently we forgot we needed to use the restroom. And apparently we knew the world turned to zombies while we were at lunch.

I'm never sleeping again!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

And so...

Don't ask me how, but I totally forgot The Walking Dead was on last night. ??? Eh? I guess with that stupid Amazing Race and Once Upon A Time, I got distracted. Oh, and I finally finished my pompom Christmas wreath. I feel so accomplished and so brainless at the same damn time!! grrr-- arrrrrg!!

Also Hell on Wheels. Helen Wheels? No, Hell on Wheels. It was pretty good, but that main guy needs to stop mumbling. Were you in Meridian, Mississippi?? Why.. no, no I wasn't. Why do you ask? o_O

And they KILLED OFF CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER!!! He could have been a great protagonist... well, he was doing a great job. Why kill him?? WHY??!!! I'd have watched just for him... he might have been the only one to watch it for. I have no idea who the main guy is!!

I got to see all the missing shows On Demand, so there is that. And boy I need some sort of... system. A system or someplace to write down tv schedules and when things come on, etc. Something... Can't remember what it's called. Hmmm...

Eh, I'll stick it all up on a Sticky Post it thing, right in the middle of my desktop... on Robert's forehead. ;)

And I wonder if the Major knew that surveyor that died. Hmmm...

Friday, October 28, 2011

And the days go by...

I don't think the water will hold me up...

Oh. I have a splitting headache that I fear might be orthodontically influenced. But I don't know. I can't chew on the left side of my mouth. But I also get pain when I'm not eating or even moving my jaw at all. Weird!! Pain killers don't work. I can touch my tongue to my teeth without a problem. So... I'm just generally confused. I don't want to go to the dentist. Dentists cost money. I have no money. Seriously. None.

I almost felt accomplished the other day.
The deadbolt on the front door broke. Don't know how. Perhaps I don't know my own strength? I was mad at this woman that keeps coming around begging for stuff. The other night (when the deadbolt died) she wanted 'a glass of ice cold water'. Now, not just 'please, can I have some water?'. No. It was demanding 'a glass of ice cold water'. Now this lady had been by before. I think this might be her fourth time around. Last week she wanted some money to buy some rice and beans. Well... mom GAVE her a 1 pound bag of rice and a can of beans. But she still wanted money, not the food. Makes me wonder...

Anyway... she'd been by before that and mom gave her money. And I think this bitch was here a year or two ago. Again wanting water. She'd just got out of the hospital and boohoo she's diabetic and needed water. So I gave her a glass. She holds it up and looks at it, sees the tiny bubbles and questions me about it. I should have taken it back and told her to go screw herself. Then she asked for a cigarette. She saw my dad's ashtray outside... tried to beg one off me. I told her I don't smoke... she didn't believe me and stomped off indignantly. Whatever. Good riddance...

So she came back begging for ice cold water... I shoved a little bottle of Zephyr Hills at her. She whined that it wasn't cold. I said nothing and closed the door. She bitched all the way out to the street... and the deadbolt broke...

We installed a new one... okay... I installed a new one with a little help from mom... it wasn't too hard, but damnit, mom doesn't take direction very well.... HOLD THE DOOR STILL!!!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Why do I procrastinate so much? I need to get my bedroom in order. I need to dust. I need to pack things away. If I'm eager to move, why isn't everything in boxes?

I have  ton of crafting stuff I hardly ever use. I could box that up and shove it into my closet. I have other things I use often and they need to be pulled out of their boxes.

I just don't understand myself. I'd rather fight with things than get things done.

But I did clean off some of my old Beanie Babies and get them into a box today.

So... yeah.... There is that...

Oh! Look! It's a Knepper!! Baby Robert!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A product review... sort of?

Okay, let me say I'm not getting paid for this review, and Yoplait had better be GLAD they didn't pay me because this isn't gonna be good for them...

So recently I went to the grocery store and thought I would try some random brand of Greek yogurt that EVERY yogurt maker has now. It's gotten so bad that two new brands have popped up. Oinkos and something else... chabata or chiamini or something, I can't remember.

Anyway, I thought I would try the Yoplait because it was cheaper than the others and I do like the taste of Yoplait, in general.
The store only had blueberry and honey vanilla. Well... I like blueberry yogurt. Yum! And I figured... Honey is a good flavor, so is vanilla. You can't go wrong with vanilla, right?


I tried the honey vanilla first. It was disgusting! It was like eating a dirty gym sock soaked in buttermilk and dipped in rotten egg.

This stuff was so vile I almost puked. I had the nasty aftertaste in my mouth even after I had brushed my teeth and tongue. Vile!

I would rather have eaten liver.

I hate liver.

And lima beans.

I like liver better than lima beans.

I like them both better than this honey vanilla greek puke.

So tonight... er this morning I thought I would go for the blueberry. I thought maybe the gross out taste of the honey vanilla was because I'd never had honey flavored yogurt before.

Oh how wrong I was!!!

There was an okay blueberry taste to this. However... the gross Greekiness of the previous flavor was still there! So I can't blame the honey flavor. It's completely the yogurt.

I only had three bites of this before I couldn't swallow anymore. It was just too vile. I still have the aftertaste in my mouth. I'm still scarred!!

Now, let me also say this...

I do like yogurt.

In fact, I love yogurt. Fruit on the bottom. Fruit not on the bottom. Put some nuts in it. Or cereal. Or eat it plain.

When I was a kid, the cherry was always my favorite. Kids don't generally eat yogurt! But I did! This was before that gogurt squeezy stuff and the Trix put spinkles on it, this was 70's plain, eat it because I said so and I'm your mother! Yogurt. So I am not biased against all yogurt. Just this... ancient Greek fermented semen and buttermilk combo.

Yoplait... I still love you... Just not your Greek. Please fire him, immediately!!

K. Thanks. Bai!!

Jen <3